Resolutions

I've always thought that resolutions made at the New Year were sort of silly, meaningless even. If you're going to resolve to do more of this or less of that, why wait for some arbitrary time marker to make the shift? Do it now, I've always thought. Anyway, most New Year's Resolutions for most people are like pie-crust promises: easily made, easily broken.

I've decided to make a resolution this year. Maybe even more than one. As I write this, I'm not firmly decided on what that one or two special thing(s) will be yet. Lots of times, there are things that I'd rather be or do. I think about them all the time. I'd like to...

...be more fun.
...drink more often.
...laugh more often.
...start running again.
...complete that project at work.
...throw parties.
...compost.
...waste less water.
...waste less food.
...meditate.
...conquer this lingering anxiety, or at least learn to laugh at it more.
...find the time, or courage rather, to engage in my community the way I dream about.
...stick to my budget.
...pay off my debt.
...cook from scratch more.
...call my parents more often.
...read more.
...spend less time on the internet.
...play like I did when I was a kid: swing, ride, climb, explore.
...be more artistic.
...be less flaky.
...be more honest with myself and others.
...walk more, drive less.
...eat more junk food.
...spend more time with friends.
...arrive at work earlier.
...teach more.
......

But, I can't resolve to do all of this all at once. Not realistically. Not if I expect to be 'successful' at any of it. Perhaps instead of any of these things, I should just resolve to embrace who I am, where I am. Be accepting. Realise that I'll never be that girl who is....whatever it is that I sometimes wish I could be...

While I'm pondering, pontificating, I think I'll just keep doing what I've been doing. Study hard, work hard, and be kind to myself and to the people around me - even to that guy who gave me the finger in the parking lot of the shopping center today.