23 December

New running shoes + snowy neighborhood run.

Visit with a friend and her newly walking 10 month old girl!

The waterproof hiking boots that i didn't get rid of.

After-dark downtown mall walk + gelato + handwritten christmas cards.

IY treats.

Leftovers.

21 December

Visit with old friends.

Tough trucks with mud tires.

Snow shoveling.

Local shop delivery.

Butternut squash.

House on tv.

Still on vacation.

Happy December!

A & I agree - 2009 is really shaping up to be a good year! :)

Squeaking by with an 82 to pass Patho! Whew.

What pointless, trivial, useless, almost-never-seen thing(s) are you unusually good at, you say? Knowing when people are pregnant before they do. Yep, I just officially added that to the list today. Congrats all around!

Grace.

Joyful Friday

Nothing like choking to help you appreciate being able to take a deep breath.

Robbing time from Peter to pay Paul for a good grade & the strategy pays off!

Sidetracks remembering my late-night-concert cd request.

Love observing how the seasons change my favorite trail + running into M & M there.

November!

Next time, I'm pullin' out the squirt gun!

Challenging questions from the preceptor.

Just when I could use an extra hour, I get one.

New fenders + my own private bike mechanic. Yippee!

Beautiful Autumn - Thankful for...

The luxury of rest.

The Swell Season's new album.

Anne Lamott's writing - Grace Eventually.

Standing still under a golden canopy.

Mid-term

Holy insta-full schedule, batman! & I'm having so much fun!

Finding two long lost friends on FB. Wow.

Thinking a lot about sweet relief. And, also about the suggestion on how to tell a more accurate story.

Cool weather and changing leaves.

Happy Anniversary (tomorrow) to both S&D and J&K. : )

Enjoying my new toys

Thankful for the gift that this day brings

And by that, I mean my sister. Happy Birthday, SMH-K.

Porch sitting with J, remembering H. Nice to be reminded of the clarity I've found.

Productive afternoon. Fall walking. Neighborhood clothing swap. Late night risotto.

Sunny Fall

GC arrives! Three weeks early, 4 lbs 14 oz, 18 inches but C U T E and healthy.

Strange dreams in the last few nights - one very positive, one very strange and looping and uncomfortable.

Beating the post-vaccination fatigue.

First clinical assignment will be...(drumroll)... Hematology/Oncology. Wow.

Blue cheese bacon burger.

Looking for a new read (while I still have the free mental space).

First big hurdle

First patho exam. Not bad. Need more fluid & electrolyte work. Looking forward to seeing how the curve works out.

F O U R sticks in the arm today, but now fully vaccinated.

It's amazing how much sugar is served up in the Nursing School. Must. Resist.

Really impressed with the ostomy care lecture today, particularly with how compassionate the NP is towards his patients.

Day off

In vino Veritas. Glad for the nudge to get out and glad to get some dancing in.

Rocking out with the student discounts at my favorite shops.

Basement organizing, yard work.

Working on airmail to Nippon. I can't believe it's been 13 years. Will I be able to find them all?

Patience with changing settings on the Mac and with feeling wiped out. Emergen-C and B-100 to the rescue?

Week 4, Already

IM and ID injection practice. Wow. Easier than I might have thought it would be.

First test of patience in grad school presents itself. Calmly reassured that I should not worry about it.

Video chat with Kallie, whom I haven't seen in person in far too long. Must remedy that soon. She has a remarkable memory for things that link us together. She's so neat.

A year and a half ago, sad and lonely were very very distant things. Lately, they appear too too often, it seems. I won't ask of fairness, or of what I did to "deserve" this, because mostly, I think that's crap. But, Universe, there must be a reason, so what is it that I need to learn from this?

Deep breath

Professionally, I could not be any more content with where I am, right now in this moment of my life.

Mushy for KG, and feeling so clearly what a powerful thing love can be.

I got in an actual argument with my cat today. It was a back and forth and Garrett yelled at me. Ha.

Wide open day tomorrow.

My first memory of going to the movies with my friends: we saw "Dirty Dancing". RIP Patrick Swayze.

9 9 9

First assignment turned in.

BP practice, tympanic membranes and med calcs.

Biking to errands downtown - Timberlakes, Country Store, Post Office, New Dominion Book Shop.

Maybe I was dreaming, but I swear a long time friend of mine called me this weekend and offered me free tickets to see U2 in Charlottesville. How did I get so lucky?

Currently reading (for real this time): My Life in France, Julia Childs.

Sunny and Easy

Getting lots of rest this weekend, and still getting a fair amount of work done, plus some good friend time.

Guest at one of the neatest weddings I've ever been to, with one of the happiest couples I know.

A Sunday night that feels like a Saturday night, even when I have to work on Monday. A fair trade I suppose.

Currently reading: Love Walked In, by Marisa de los Santos, a super cheap Powell's purchase.

Healing thoughts for KG.

Reflections on my first two weeks of school

It has been a good two weeks. Here are some things I've been thinking about:

My good neighbor, the semi-pro-mountain biker, saw me ride up to my house on my bike yesterday after class. He said, "Cat! Good to see you on a bike! How's it going?" I said, "You know, it's getting easier." He said, "It will only get easier." Ain't that the truth. The bike commute, as with everything else in life that you keep working on, will only get easier.

Also, when I told him which route I was taking to school, and was mentioning the hard and long hills, he said, "Don't go that way. I never ride up that hill, it's too hard. You gotta learn which routes are easiest on a bike." The lesson: sometimes the "better" way is the one that takes you out of your way a bit, and even a pro will take an easier way if they have the option. You don't always have to suffer in order to accomplish something.

Next, I've come to realise that I am now surrounded by very smart, alert, hard-working people. In fact, I've discovered that we are often thinking the same things and asking the same questions. What is so refreshing about this is that I can relax a little bit, comforted by the fact that we're in this together and trust that if given a chance, one of my cohort will ask my hard question for me. It's good to feel intellectually connected to such a dynamic and diverse group, and to find that each of you share common traits and a common goal.

More to come.....

Woohoo

Holy spicy red lentil curry batman! Yum!

I have this theory that learning any new occupation is really only a study in a foreign language, which, luckily I've done a few times.

Excited for Dev and Paul in Kenya!

I am tuckered out. In that nice satisfying way that being tuckered out can be sometimes.

Cool September Start

Focus on frugality beginning with using up all of my random shampoos/conditioners/lotions and all of my random foodstuffs, hence: homemade lentil soup - yum.

Sending a request out to the lost-item fairy for the return of my favorite black fleece, and my digital watch (which, I think, still has all of my marathon splits stored in it).

Cleaning out baskets.

Patience with the strenuous bike commute.

Loving the cool weather and blue skies.

End of August

My vacation was too short, but aren't they always?

Reluctantly a bike commuter now, and feel that it's already getting easier.

Finally feeling organized. Loving patho - today I had one of those moments where I thought, "Huh, I think I'm living a dream that I had long ago." Yeah.

Loving my new techno toy (despite not being fully operational).

Nice city night with a good friend, good wine, and sweet rain.

Cheerful new Dev song

Good to Get Out


Traveling mercies as they get out of the house all the way to Kenya! So cool.

She said something about starfish, and the Oregon coast

What with the warm weather

Pathophysiology online: nursing school boot camp. I kicked it's ass right back.

Lots of moral support from the family, as always.

"If you make one new dear friend a year..." Yes.

Downtown errands lead to an unplanned lunch date leads to experiencing some very cool expressive art.

Streaming the Newport Folk Festival. This is making me very happy. And, this is why I support public radio.

Looking very happily forward to seeing my Portland family of friends and the Oregon Coast.

Currently reading: A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel & next month's book club book, My Life in France by Julia Childs.

Why art is important

Seems in the last few months a debate has been swirling around me about the value of art. First, a conversation with a favorite musician about the value of his work; then that very same week, an article in a local paper about why poetry is important. And, this week, I found this clip of Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglová singing one of the songs that they became known for after the release of the independent film Once in 2007. Hansard and Irglová's song "Falling Slowly" received a 2008 Academy Award for Best Original Song and the soundtrack as a whole also received a Grammy nomination. They were the underdogs, but the award couldn't have been given to more deserving folks.

At some point along the way, I heard Hansard comment in an interview that he often "self-medicated with music" - which is something I can relate to. In the opening to this clip, Hansard says, "Ultimately we invest in art because we want to be taken somewhere...or we want to be brought on some kind of ride." I'm not sure I would have phrased it in exactly the same way, but I think he's right on...

Incidentally, I'm not a big fan of most popular music. But, these two, I like. They are about as real as they can be. And, I like that they offer up their music for the listening. On the website for their collaborative musical project, The Swell Season, you can play a whole set of songs, for free. Which is how music should be. Free. Payment to our favorite artists, I think, should be part of a reciprocal exchange: the artist takes you on a ride, and in return, you buy them dinner...or, well... a gift certificate for something they've been dreaming of doing. : )

Quite a day

The view from my sun room earlier this evening - hot air balloon over Belmont Park. About 30 minutes prior to the balloon's arrival, we had the most lovely summer rain, the kind that seems to be pouring from the bright blue sky, the kind that encourages people to run outside to enjoy the refreshing rain drops instead of running to search for cover.

A good day to look skyward and remember good friends. FFF.

"The countdown on two hands has begun."

Yes, indeed. It's coming up quickly.

Loving the new long trail loop. Almost too much - I've nearly forgotten I'm supposed to be 'training' for a road race. Eek!

Spinning and dizzy fun at work.

Trees on Fire and good conversation at the park.

An old place becomes new as a late night study spot & remembering days past, seems like it was in another life, there with RR.

In the vein of doing something everyday that scares you: JMS filming at my house tonight. A very cool thing and glad I agreed to it.

Relaxing weekend

Thai dinner with C & GC.

Homemade chocolate chip cookies, delivered. Delighted. : )

Farmer's Market white peaches. Delish!

New long trail loop with BR & E! Yippee.

Studying, pool, fresh dinner of falafel and spring rolls.

Currently reading: Breakfast with Buddha. (Thanks to S for the loaner book!)

Sam Scott will be famous one day

I just heard her busking on the Downtown Mall, she received quite a nice reception. She's 11 years old.

Thursday

Thrilled to be scattering Weehah! to the far reaches.

Plane tickets, check.

Sunset trail walk.

M & M in the park helps dry the eyes.

Blueberries & oatmeal for dinner, and keeping the curtains open a little more often.

Office Picnic

First time in 6 years I've brought anyone, family or not, to my office picnic. I was very happy to have her.

Last Lynchburg Class

Finishing the way I started - sick to my stomach and using the laptop and mini-projector. A fitting ending after 3+ years and 1,000+ participants.

Finally, an A on a test.

Errands & porch sitting with Ma.

Late night out with good friends.

My white middle class sensibilities are admittedly punch drunk on NPR's liberalism, but still, I keep finding gems that seem to speak truth for me.

Summer

I'm not sure how to come to terms with a public blog that I wish to keep private.

Lots of thankfuls.

Sorry I turned down the peach pancakes.

Good story from Thailand about snakes and ants and life.

Excited about August travels and new technology toys.

Why weekends should be longer than 2 days

10+ hours of studying at Cville Coffee Saturday/Sunday. Thanks to M & C for moral support and company.

68% on my first exam. Yes, that's right. I got a 'D'. Did I mention that this class is hell? I wasn't exaggerating.

No outdoor fun at all.

August, oh August, I look forward to you.

Kyle's 2nd Birthday

Kyle is 2 now. So, I asked his Mom what he might like for his birthday.

When I asked, here's what she said, "Well, he's into golf and baseball these days. And spiders. And frogs. And trucks."

I'm glad to hear that Kyle is most certainly his father's son. And, when I think about Kyle's birthday, I can't help but think what an amazing woman my sister is. I was honored to be present when Kyle was born, and I can say, without a doubt, that my sister and her body were the vessel for a true miracle - the birth of their beautiful son.

I talked to him on the phone today, something new for us. He just kept saying, "Hi Cat!" I hope he delivers the hug that I suggested he give to his Mom today.

Paul Farmer: This I believe, recorded by NPR

Two of my favorites: Dr. Farmer and NPR's This I Believe audio essays.

That topic that I'm not supposed to talk about publically

One of my friends told me once that he doesn't want to read anything about bodily functions on any one's blog. And, that's fine. I won't share any of the ugly details of my own, because frankly, I wish I didn't know any of them myself. But, I don't think we're doing ourselves any favors by not sharing information and experiences about the single thing that all of us humans have in common - the experience of having, possessing, inhabiting a body. We all have one. And none of us have much control over the form we were given at birth, or the function of that form as it grows and develops and changes over time.

In my teens and twenties, I guess I was lucky in growing a very comfortable relationship with this body that is mine. While I quietly watched and listen to my girl friends agonize about this feature or that feature, I didn't have any complaints about the way I looked: the stretch marks on my thighs didn't bother me all that much; my curly hair didn't become much of a nuisance until my late twenties and even then I embraced my unique feature; my bushy eyebrow and even my height were cool with me, even though my height made me behave in terribly self-conscious ways for about the first 30 years of my life. I'm sure I can thank my Mom and my sisters for inheriting such an calm and positive acceptance of my form. And, hey, my body worked OK too. Never had a broken bone, the only cavities I've had were in baby teeth, my poor vision was easily corrected with glasses, then contacts, then lasik. And even my allergies are controlled now by the power of Nasonex. No real complaints....until the IBS.

And now, there are days where I feel like aliens have taken over my body. The way that I feel physically, the inconsistency in the symptoms, the bizarre way that it sometimes manifests itself, all create this feeling of detachment from this form - this body - that my thoughts and mind live within. The good news is that I seem to have overcome most of my anxiety related to the IBS (thanks to being well medicated). This week while my body had a little temper tantrum, instead of completely panicking, I simply decided that I would disown my body for a while. Until it figured out what it wanted to do with itself. Until it worked out it's demons. I get that. Sometimes, a little space is needed. So, I gave my body space.

The only problem is that I can't actually take a vacation from my body. I'm with it, no matter what. It and I have a full-fledged life-long commitment to each other. It's a love-hate relationship. The same body that traps me in the bathroom for what seems like hours and days of my life also gives me the ability to run miles along my favorite city streets, study interesting subjects with energy and zeal, and exist in this physical plane along side my loved ones. But the relationship now is different than the comfortable one we shared during the first 30 years of my life. Now, every plan is made with the one additional thought of, "Will my body be having a good day?" It's like a mental hurdle I have to jump over every time I say yes to an invitation, every time I plan a meal. Every time.

I suppose it will continue to get easier. But, in the meantime, what I want to say is that I'm a little disappointed, a little angry even, with my body's poor showing...

Sunny Thursday

Finishing the semester. It always feels anti-climatic. Now begins the wait for the much anticipated grade.

I think I'm happier when my mind is busy, and I feel a bit ungrounded during breaks sometimes. Like now. Unsettled.

Oldest Sister spontaneously catches flight from Atlanta to Orlando so that she can hang with Middle Sister and the niece and nephew at Sea World. Jealous.

Monday

A girl cannot live by pumpkin bread alone, although she likes to think that she can. And, I'm so happy to re-remember that Mission Home sells stuff at the Country Store - makes my addiction so much more convenient.

Nerdy nursing emailing to the left coast.

Not accomplishing my early test taking goal. Who was I kidding anyway? I function best when pressed against a deadline.

Rainy Sunday

Today was one of those days where I was paralyzed by a lack of motivation to do what I was supposed to be doing, so I mostly sat around feeling guilty about that.

Piano wasn't moved today. Makes me think of:

Now, picture you're very small,
And you've nowhere to sleep
But across the hammers of a baby grand,
And it's really playing, boy!

...because you see, piano must move out to make way for guest sleeping quarters.

Amanda rescued me from a lazy afternoon nap - she brought over cookies & bagels & tea. Which motivated me for a short (and fast!) run, then back to studying (or, see above)!

Sometimes I sing really loudly and imagine that I'd be an awesome back up singer for some of my favorite musicians. Yep.

The cinquecinto will become the new American automobile obsession, I've been hoping for that for 20 years! Because they are so cute and it's fun to see how many people you can fit inside one!

Saturday

Sleeping in - way in - for the first time in I-can't-remember-when. Thanks to the kitties for letting me.

Monticello Trail walk and finishing my errands just as the April shower began.

Laundry, laundry, laundry and putting on my summertime bed sheets.

Late night studying. Plans to take my last lecture exam a day early.

Easy-ish Thursday

Out-of-oatmeal means Bodo's in the morning. Yea!

Last chapter in A&P is the digestive system. You'd think I would have attended all of the lectures, but I didn't. And, I'm totally lost. Where the hell in the notes is there anything about pancreatic Alpha cells? Wtf?

Early to bed...early to rise?

Wednesday

Good work camaraderie - I will miss our "family".

Hosting a full house for book club with all 10 of us (plus one baby) in attendance. Good discussion of Loving Frank.

Behind on my school work, but the semester is over in 8 days! Lot's of work to do this week!

Oh my

I woke up this morning and quickly realised something was amiss. Griffin was very vocal and was practically yelling at me. It took me about 30 seconds to realise that I hadn't seen Garrett all night. Then I realised that somehow, I just accidentally left Garrett outside all night. I'm not even sure how he got out. Oh my. He was panicking on the front porch when I opened the door this morning. His paws are all dirty. A toenail is bloody and broken. He busted his coat and filled up 3 or 4 brushes worth of fur. His allergies were giving him green gooey and dark red eyes.

Deciding that a visit to the vet might be in order, for his conjunctivitis, and apparent allergies, and his bloody toe, and also so that I could confess how terrible a mother I am, we went. Garrett got a Benadryl shot - knocked him out. Toe looks better. He still loves belly rubs at the clinic, all is not lost.

And, the mystery is solved - a window screen had been pushed out and rested on the ground under the mud room window. Garrett must have fallen (jumped?) out sometime on the early side last evening. That would explain why he didn't come running when I put his dinner down.

All I have to do is keep track of myself and two cats. And, somehow, I couldn't manage to do that last night. ::sigh:: And, even odder is that I didn't feel nearly as panicked as I think I should have been... Hm.

All right, 3 souls, 8 paws and 2 feet accounted for tonight. Good night's rest.

Busy and sad week

I love that, after months of tests, exams, & doctors visits, the apparent solution to my IBS came in a off-handed comment my midwife made a few months ago, "You should try calcium supplements, I hear they are very helpful." Calcium-magnesium with Vitamin D - brillant!

More settling in to the new abode: pictures on walls, closet organized, curtains hung.

Busy week ahead: exam (#1), book club, phone-banking, house warming, exam (#2).

~~~~

Ally Raye Beskin Riner, rest in peace.

Easter weekend

Good week end: Indigo Girls, Danny at Live Arts, visit with Carrie and baby Amelia, morning chapel run, afternoon Secluded Trails hike.

Feeling grateful for blue skies and blooming trees and for finding a beautiful secret spot on my walk.

Grateful for remarkable improvement, health wise. Fingers crossed.

Doing something that scared me today: offering a comment at a forum discussion, and being interviewed by a reporter! Luckily they didn't use my clip, 'cause I think I woulda choked to see myself on tv.

Cold April

I'm not going to complain about the weather. 39 degrees on April 7th? Fine by me, summer will be here soon enough.

Feeling less school-stress this week.

Patience with 2 and a half days (and counting) of broken computer at work.

Proud of my Momma for her fitness success.

Have I mentioned that my father, Ph.D. well in hand, is about to complete his second Master's degree? Yeah, 71 is not "too old".

Currently reading: Loving Frank by Nancy Horan.

April

To my morning-walking neighbor, I'm so sorry I haven't been able to rescue my blooming pear tree from it's disease, fruit rot, like you suggested last week. If only I had time to visit the fruit rot medicine store.

Something in this story about teaching the "anti-alcohol" message to 5th graders makes me sad; I'm much more inclined to follow the way of the Italians and let the kids sip wine at the dinner table. I'm just not sure abstinence education does anything but teach people to have an awkward and unhealthy relationship with whatever the thing is that is "forbidden". But, what do I know...

Savoring the feeling that my house is sometimes too quiet and too empty.

I should probably be filing my federal tax return right now.

But it was really something quite huge

Today, I did this little thing: I checked the little line next to the sentence that read, "I accept the offer of admission and will begin the program in the Fall of 2009." Then I put that little piece of paper in the envelope that I had addressed and sealed it. I put a newly purchased Forever stamp on the upper right hand corner, and then inserted the feather-weight package in the little mail slot at the downtown Post Office.

Fantabulous

Overheard at the playground this weekend by a 5 or 6-ish year old birthday girl, pretty in her pink flowery dress: "I love Spiderman! I'm going to marry Spiderman!" Funny - I once loved Spiderman too.

This weekend: 4th Ukrops 10K with the Girls & Betsy stops by for dinner at The Local. What would I do without them?

Sometimes I have strange premonitions. I know! I don't believe in premonitions either! But, it's true.

This woman's blog may have just changed my life: http://www.dooce.com (thanks for the tip C.S.) I laughed until I cried reading this today! I laughed until my Rectus abdominis hurt!

Speaking of naming muscles, I don't wanna study tonight. Wah.

23 March 2009

I'm waiting for my brain to fill up. Lots to study between now and Thursday. And, yes, that was me that you heard complaining in lab the other night that I'm disappointed that we only have to learn 33 muscles. Ridiculous.

My first attempt at homemade, from-scratch pumpkin bread didn't turn out quite as well as I'd liked, but considering that I tweaked the recipe a bit (only used 2/3's the sugar, used canned pumpkin and forgot to add extra cinnamon), it's pretty good. Thanks, Alton!

I think the 8K helped me break through my 2 mile barrier! And, I think I can already tell a difference after the addition of some upper body strength training. I read once that it really helps make running feel easier and I think it's true. Hm.

Must. Make. Progress. On. Manual. At. Work.

A note about seasons. I'm noticing how some events in Charlottesville are seasonal and I'd not noticed that before this year... like the MJ8K and Wordplay and The Big Read... I remember them all from last year so vividly. Anyway, that's all I'll say about that for now.

Happy Birthday, Pa!

I think my Dad is totally cool. This year he turned 71.

Running, rainy, relaxing Saturday

Baking, chai drinking, clothes washing, car cleaning.

Getting pooped on by the beautiful Amelia Bright Shelton. I feel so honored. :)

Ah, nothing to do (except study) until Monday. Lovely.

Spring "Break"

Well, I am technically on Spring Break. But, it doesn't quite feel the same when you work full time. I have been able to do a few things this week that I can't normally fit in this semester, like Supper Club. I finally remedied the No-wine-in-my-house problem. Excellent!

Yes, I'm going to complain about the 5 hours of my life that were wasted at the dealership service center today. I could metaphorically feel the dollars of unearned salary leaving my wallet as one hour became... five - and all because of poor communication, a little bit my fault, but mostly theirs. Erf. I'm now driving a rental bucket, er, I mean rental car, hopefully only until tomorrow.

Nice 2 mile run. Flat, breezy, good.

Currently reading: Still Alice by Lisa Genova. It almost brought me to tears today.

Thoughts from Shambhala Sun

I periodically pick up this magazine from IY... and often I find something in it that seems to resonate. If you'll indulge me, this is what I've been thinking about for the last few days, an article titled "The place beyond hope and fear" by Margaret Wheatley, Ed.D.:

Hope is not related to accomplishments. It is, quite simply, a dimension of being human. To feel hope, we don't have to accomplish anything. Hope is always right there, in our very being, our human spirits, our fundamental human goodness.

If we know that we are hope, it becomes much easier to stop being blinded or seduced by hopeful prospects. Instead of grasping onto activities that we want so desperately to succeed, we can see clearly and simply what to do. Grounded only in who we are, we discover those actions that feel right, rather than those that might or might not be effective. We may not succeed in changing things, but we choose to act from the clarity that this is right action for us. People who endure and persevere for their cause describe clarity as a force arising within them that compels them to act. They express this by saying, "I couldn't not do it."

...

It isn't outcomes that matter. It's people, our relationships, that give meaning to our struggles. If we free ourselves from hope and fear, from having to succeed, we discover that it becomes easier to love...We realise that we are truly in this together, and that's all that matters.

3 x 3 = 9

Snow day bus adventures + comp time.

Connecting with elder niece on email! Yippee!

Blog updates and new pictures from SMHK.

Patience with ringing/deafness in the ear, day 3.

Snowy March

Happy Birthday, Sarah! One of the first memories I have of my now 17 year old niece is of her falling asleep on my chest when she was an itty-bitty baby.

You know how, with family, you don't mind when your family members invade your personal space and sometimes lean into you and get just a little bit in your way, and it feels so natural, like the other person is a part of you? I like that about family. My cats do that to me too; I guess that means they're family.

Snowy Virginia. Snowy Atlanta. Thunderstormy Charleston.

I should buy stock in Weehah! cards.

Patience with stuffy deafness in my left ear all day.

February Saturday

Happy birthday, Cindi!

Good friday night.

Sleeping long and sleeping in, but not too late. Morning La Taza walk.

Painting project with non-toxic paint. More unpacking and settling in.

Snowy and girly evening at home.

Wednesday Thoughts

Have you ever received something that you didn't know you needed until after you'd received it? I kinda feel like that's what we (I) have found in President Obama. Not that we didn't know we needed something new - that's without a doubt - but it's that the particular brand of new that we got seems to be just the right kind of remedy. I'm thinking specifically about his emphasis on personal responsibility, parental responsibility, and service to community.

Garrett, I'm sure, secretly wishes that I'd sit on my couch more often because he gets the best snuggling lap from me then.

Facebook. I'm not sure it does anyone any good. Too much sand, not enough rocks, as they say. But, in lieu of canceling my account all together, I am going to use the "Delete friend" button more often. Because I can.

In touch with all of my nieces this week. Kallie was eating oatmeal with berries (just like her Aunt Cat); 19 year old Adrienne is thinking of buying a house (WTF!?); Sarah and her boy have been dating for nearly 11 months (huge for a 16 year old!).

Fingerscrossed for SMH. And, feel better soon CEH.

Be kind

One of my favorite hang-outs has a quote above the bathroom door of the woman's restroom:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Plato

This seems to be an especially relevant reminder these days.

::Sigh::

I was grumpy and negative and not fun to be around today - I didn't even want to be around me today.

Running up the long, steep hill of Druid Avenue can make all your troubles seem far, far away.

I have a piano in my house right now. And, there are two things I know for sure about pianos: 1) it seems creepy to sleep in the same room as a piano. I've probably done it before; every house I lived in for the first 20 years of my life had at least one piano in it. But, for some reason, that was the first thing that popped into my mind when my landlord asked if it was OK to leave this one in my house for a little while. 2) I will always always always be able to play Heart and Soul and Chopsticks on the piano. My fingers will never forget. And, it will always always always be more fun to play those tunes with Susan playing along beside me.

Ravioli, talk with Mom, and Thin Mints at dinner time.

Remembering that sugar helps.

On Soul Mates

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life...

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

A Saturday in February

What a pleasure to teach in City Space this morning!

Lunch and dogs licking kids and happy (gay) couples on the Downtown Mall.

Tea and bread and friend's help unpacking and loving the potential in my new living room!

A spectacular show at Gravity tonight! Ray Suen is indeed a rock star! Devon posts a new song!

Friday. The Thirteenth. Of February.

New house. Great sunrise view from the kitchen window overlooking the park!

Strange series of bizzare-o world events. I'm going to go with Anne Lammott's theory that when bad things happen, they are serving to distract you from interfering with something beautiful that is trying to be born. Yes.

Busy at work & cranking up the Debtor Edu for the next few months.

Still running - I think I'll start planning Sunday long runs, a switch from Saturday.

Did I mention the park!? With the swing set practically in my front yard, and the summer time spray ground!?

In the news

NPR reports that health care, specifically nursing, is still a growing field, despite the downturn in the economy. So is urban planning with a focus on green, clean technology, I might add.

I like Malcolm Gladwell for his keen insight which allows him to draw comparisons between seemingly unrelated ideas, for example between the analysis done by a NFL football scout, and analysis needed to select effective teachers. And, I keep thinking that I'd like to subscribe to the New Yorker. And, I wonder if this article is talking about someone I know... Hmmm...

This is bullshit. I've been ready for months!

Poor Michael Phelps. It just goes to show that you can be talented as all get out and still have bad judgement.

My new home

Sometime in the next week, I'm not sure exactly when, I'll be moving into a new home. In an effort to stay positive, here are some things that I'm looking forward to about it:

A gas stove - haven't had one of those since Italy!

Hardwood floors throughout.

Room for my dining room table.

A big kitchen.

A sun room with a view of the park and Monticello.

Hosting potlucks and parties.

Staying in the 'hood, which means not having to find a new grocery store.

Having less grass to mow, and having a little garden spot.

Productive Tuesday - Snow/Sleet

I proudly now have an actual PO Box in my favorite city.

UVA application submitted!

Connecting with an old mentor - over Facebook, no less. That dang website continues to surprise me.

Small victory on the work front, earned on it's own merit, with only a little bit of pathetic sounding begging on my part - but for a good cause! This actually made me giddy, and few things seem to do that anymore!

More packing...

Thankful for...

Waking up every morning since Tuesday wondering what my President is up to today!

Making progress on the to-do list.

Family.

Friends.

To do list - late Jan/early Feb

In no particular order...

1) Solidify new house details

2) Pack my life into little boxes that are well labeled and not too heavy

3) Complete grad school application - due Feb. 1

4) Test kitchen for one more batch of cupcakes

5) File tax returns

6) Hire movers(?)

7) Take car to dealership for warranty work (in the next 200 miles!)

8) Trip to Charleston

9) Remember what I'm forgetting

10) Move

11) Celebrate the inauguration of a new president!

12) Spring semester class begins Jan. 20

Service Above Self*

One of the things that my parents have instilled in me - mostly by example - is the idea of "Service Above Self". For many years as a kid, I watched and participated with my parents as they engaged in their community by way of very active memberships in the Rotary Club of Camden County, Georgia. Today, they continue to engage by teaching and mentoring adults in college in the Atlanta area.

In my own life, my contributions to community have barely been a drop in the bucket compared to others', but my vision for my life certainly includes Service Above Self, and I recognise that we all have something unique and important to contribute. Every little bit can make a difference. I am very excited, therefore, to see that President-Elect Obama has created a service initiative called Renew America Together, and he has called on each of us to participate in a service activity this coming Monday, January 19th, on the Martin Luther King, Jr. Federal Holiday. The web-site address is http://usaservice.org and here you can find volunteer opportunities or post information about an event that your organization is hosting. I was excited to see that there are at least a half-a-dozen events in the Charlottesville area already posted on the site.

I appreciate that Mr. Obama is asking each and every American to take ownership in their country and in their community and that he and his family are willing to lead by example. I look forward to engaging in my community more fully in the coming year, and to watching this initiative take root and bloom all across the country.

*Service Above Self is a motto of Rotary International.

Resolutions

I've always thought that resolutions made at the New Year were sort of silly, meaningless even. If you're going to resolve to do more of this or less of that, why wait for some arbitrary time marker to make the shift? Do it now, I've always thought. Anyway, most New Year's Resolutions for most people are like pie-crust promises: easily made, easily broken.

I've decided to make a resolution this year. Maybe even more than one. As I write this, I'm not firmly decided on what that one or two special thing(s) will be yet. Lots of times, there are things that I'd rather be or do. I think about them all the time. I'd like to...

...be more fun.
...drink more often.
...laugh more often.
...start running again.
...complete that project at work.
...throw parties.
...compost.
...waste less water.
...waste less food.
...meditate.
...conquer this lingering anxiety, or at least learn to laugh at it more.
...find the time, or courage rather, to engage in my community the way I dream about.
...stick to my budget.
...pay off my debt.
...cook from scratch more.
...call my parents more often.
...read more.
...spend less time on the internet.
...play like I did when I was a kid: swing, ride, climb, explore.
...be more artistic.
...be less flaky.
...be more honest with myself and others.
...walk more, drive less.
...eat more junk food.
...spend more time with friends.
...arrive at work earlier.
...teach more.
......

But, I can't resolve to do all of this all at once. Not realistically. Not if I expect to be 'successful' at any of it. Perhaps instead of any of these things, I should just resolve to embrace who I am, where I am. Be accepting. Realise that I'll never be that girl who is....whatever it is that I sometimes wish I could be...

While I'm pondering, pontificating, I think I'll just keep doing what I've been doing. Study hard, work hard, and be kind to myself and to the people around me - even to that guy who gave me the finger in the parking lot of the shopping center today.

A new year, already

Fighting off the cold and sore throat.

Finding a new home - fingerscrossed that all of the pieces fall in to place properly and on time.

But, I just keep thinking that what I really should be doing in this economy is scaling back - hunkering down and consolidating. Like, shouldn't we young, single, independent minded folks be combining resources and supporting each other? Not partitioning off? It's just so damn expensive, especially in this town... Ugh.

Move prep: Superduper under-the-appliances floor cleaning. And, what's the criteria for getting rid of old stuff? If I haven't touched it in over a year, can I donate or recycle it, even if I might possibly someday maybe use it again?

Nice company on the first day of the new year.